Purrfectly Royal (The Mysteries of Max Book 13) Read online

  “Will you cut it out with all the noise!”

  It was Odelia’s grandmother, and she did not look pleased.

  “It’s not noise!” he shouted back. “The cats and I are singing!”

  “Go ‘sing’ someplace else,” she said. “You’re waking up the whole neighborhood with your horrible caterwauling.”

  He shook his head, and saw that Max was shaking his head, too.

  “True talent is never appreciated, is it?” he said.

  And he could have sworn that Max answered in the affirmative.

  In defiance of his future grandmother-in-law, he opened his mouth to belt out a few more bars, and this time a window opened on the other side of the house, and a boot swished through the air and hit him on the back of the head.

  “Hey!” he said.

  “Oh, be quiet!” a voice yelled. He couldn’t see who it was, but assumed it was Odelia’s next-door neighbor Kurt Mayfield. A retired music teacher, apparently the singing didn’t appeal to his finely honed musical sensibilities.

  It wasn’t the first time Chase had been chastened by critical responses to his singing. He directed a quizzical look at Max and the others. “How do you guys deal with this boot-throwing business? Does this happen a lot?”

  The four cats lifted their shoulders as if to say: ‘Welcome to our world, buddy.’

  A window now opened above him and Odelia’s sleepy head poked out. “When I said it’s fine for you to join them I didn’t think you’d actually go through with it. Do you know what time it is?” She yawned for emphasis.

  “I just figured I’d spend some bonding time with your cats,” he said.

  “Yeah, well, I hate to break it to you, Chase, but you can’t sing—and you guys can’t sing either,” she added when a questioning meow came from Dooley. “Better get back inside before the neighbors call the cops on you.”

  “Hey, wouldn’t that be something? I’d have to arrest myself for disturbing the peace.”

  “Go back to bed, Chase.”

  “Yeah, go back to bed, Chase!” a voice sounded from next door. It was the same tetchy neighbor.

  Then Gran chimed in, “Do what your girlfriend tells you to, Chase!”

  “Okay, fine,” he said. He eyed the four cats keenly, and thought they were smiling at him. “So it was great spending time with you guys,” he said, and held up his hand. They actually high-fived him!

  “Hey, did you see that?” he asked, but Odelia had already returned to bed.

  “Let’s go inside, buddies,” he said. “And do some more singing tomorrow.”

  They moved into the house, single file, and the night was still once more.

  Chapter 3

  I woke up the next morning in an unfamiliar but pleasant position: face to face with Chase, of all people. Usually I wake up having cuddled my way up to Odelia, but apparently Chase has grown on me for me to favor him. My friends were all in various positions on the bed: Dooley was butt to butt with Odelia, while Harriet and Brutus were entangled at the foot of the bed.

  Odelia has joked in the past that she would probably have to buy a bigger bed at some point to accommodate her expanding household, and I guess that wouldn’t be such a bad idea. For one thing, my paw was dangling over the precipice, one bump from Chase enough to send me over the edge myself.

  He woke up with a loud snore and stared at me. I stared right back and smiled. “Hey, there, sleepyhead,” I said by way of greeting.

  He blinked a few times, then said, “Odelia? Your cat is staring at me!”

  “He’s showing you how much he cares,” she muttered.

  “I do care about you, Chase,” I said earnestly. I happen to think Chase is the bee’s knees—he and Odelia a match made in heaven.

  Chase looked a little ill at ease. He’s not used to waking up being stared at by a cat. It’s a sign of affection, as Odelia had correctly surmised, and to show him I really liked him, I put my paw on his face and gently dabbed his nose.

  He swallowed, as he lay there, frozen like a popsicle. Weird.

  “Relax, Chase,” she said. “He’s not going to eat you.”

  “Yeah, but he might scratch me in the face.”

  “He won’t. Max is very careful not to use his claws.”

  I am. I don’t like to scratch my humans. They tend to bleed. Such sensitive creatures. Sometimes, of course, I can’t help it, like when I’m excited about a rare treat. I wasn’t now—just feeling happy.

  “Max,” said Chase. “Please don’t scratch me. I like my face the way it is.”

  “I like your face, too,” I said. “It’s a nice face, as faces go.”

  Dooley, who’d woken up, said, “Oh, are you having a tête-à-tête with Chase? I’ll join you.” He crawled over Odelia and got right on top of Chase, then started purring up a storm and kneading the man’s stomach.

  “Ouch!” said Chase.

  “No claws, Dooley,” said Odelia.

  “Let me get in there, you guys,” said Harriet, and plunked herself gracefully down on Chase’s chest, making herself comfortable.

  “I feel left out,” said Brutus.

  “There’s still a spot near his head,” I pointed out.

  “Great,” muttered Brutus, and draped himself across Chase’s head.

  Now four cats were purring up a storm, and kneading our new favorite human. Chase has saved my life numerous times, and Dooley even thinks he might be Jesus. I wouldn’t go as far as that, but he is a pretty solid dude, in my humble opinion, and cats, even though they’re rumored to stint on the emotion, are actually very emotional creatures, and like to show their affection rather than jabber on and on about it like some other species.

  Plus, Chase had sung with us last night, and even taken a boot to the head for his trouble. How cool was that?

  Odelia finally managed to drag her eyelids high enough to warrant eyesight, and laughed when she saw the predicament her boyfriend was in.

  “You’re now officially owned by four cats,” she said, shaking with laughter.

  “I feel pretty… funny,” he said.

  “Ooh, I know that song!” said Harriet. “I feel pretty. Oh so pretty.”

  And soon we were all singing at the top of our lungs, Odelia was laughing, and even Chase had to chuckle—very carefully, though. Hard to chuckle with four cats hampering your chuckling movements.

  Just then, a voice rang out from downstairs.

  “Are you two lovebirds up yet?”

  Chase and Odelia exchanged a glance. “Gran,” they said in unison.

  “Come on up, Gran!” Odelia yelled.

  “Wait, no,” said Chase, but too late.

  Already feet could be heard pounding up the stairs, and moments later a little old white-haired lady burst through the door. When she saw Chase loaded with cats, she laughed. “Well, now ain’t that a sight for sore eyes!”

  “Ha ha ha,” said Chase, but I could tell his heart wasn’t in it. His next words proved this. “What do you want, Vesta?”

  Her smile vanished. “Be nice to your granny-in-law, mister,” she growled.

  “You insulted my singing last night! Called it caterwauling!”

  “I was only trying to offer you a learning opportunity. How do you two feel about a trip to England?”

  “England?” said Odelia, staring at her grandmother.

  “It’s a country. In Europe.”

  “I know what England is. Why would we go on a trip there?”

  “Why not? You remember Angela? Angela Torrance?” When Odelia shook her head, she added, “When I tell you she’s the mother of Tessa Torrance?”

  “Oh, that Angela,” said Odelia, nodding.

  “Who’s Angela Torrance?” I asked.

  “She lived around the corner for a while and was great friends with Mom,” said Odelia. “Gran used to babysit her daughter Tessa—we’re the same age.”

  “Tessa Torrance as in the Tessa Torrance?” asked Chase. “The princess?”

  �
��Technically she’s not a princess, even though she married a prince,” said Gran. “The English are weird like that. Anyway, I got a call from Angela just now. There was an incident with her daughter and she wants us to go over there and find out what’s going on.”

  “Incident?” asked Odelia. “What kind of incident?”

  “A big stone almost crushed her. She’s lucky to be alive.”

  “But… don’t they have cops in England?”

  “They do. But Tessa wants to keep the whole thing quiet. She told her husband Prince Dante it was an accident but she’s not too sure herself. And now she wants us to investigate. Isn’t that great?!”

  “But…”

  “What’s with all the buts? Don’t you want a free European vacation?”

  “Of course I do, but I don’t see—”

  “Look, Angela has read all about your sleuthing adventures, and she’s told Tessa about it, and now they want you to go over there to keep an eye on things. Is that so hard to understand?”

  “But…” She ignored Gran’s expressive groans of frustration. “I can’t just waltz in there and start snooping around. Doesn’t she have protection officers and royal guards and Scotland Yard or whatever?”

  “I told you. She doesn’t trust anyone.”

  “You didn’t tell me that.”

  “Well, I’m telling you now. Angela will arrange everything. You will pretend to be Tessa’s cousin, and I’m her grandmother.”

  “Her grandmother!”

  “What? You don’t think I can pull it off?”

  “Oh, Gran. This sounds like a really bad idea.”

  “No, it doesn’t. It sounds like a great idea. Now get up and get ready. No time to waste.”

  “Does Prince Dante know?” asked Chase.

  “No, he doesn’t. Like I said, Tessa doesn’t trust anyone.”

  “Not even her own husband?”

  “Hey, I’m just the messenger here, singer boy.”

  “What about us?” I asked.

  Gran grinned widely. “Surprise! You’re all invited, too!”

  “We are?!”

  “I told Angela that you’re Odelia’s secret power. That she feels she can’t do a proper job without her cats by her side.”

  “Like her talisman?” said Dooley.

  “Exactly!” Gran cried. “You’re Odelia’s talisman, so Angela is going to arrange for all of you to be flown out there, too. On a private jet, no less.”

  “Do you know what this means?” said Harriet excitedly. “We’re going to see the Queen!”

  “And her corgis!” said Brutus.

  “Who wants to see a corgi?” I said.

  “What’s a corgi, Max?” asked Dooley.

  “A dog. The Queen is crazy about them.”

  “What are they talking about?” asked Chase.

  “They’re talking about the corgis,” said Odelia. “They’re not sure if they’re going to like them.”

  “Of course you’re going to like the Queen’s corgis,” said Chase, patting me in an exaggerated fashion. I can always tell a dog person from a cat person. A dog person pats you as if they’re trying to stomp you into the ground. A cat person is gentle and strokes you with delicate movements. I wasn’t going to hold it against him, though. The man was obviously on a learning curve.

  Odelia quirked an eyebrow. “Well, then. Looks like we’re going to England.”

  We all yipped. Oh, if only I’d known then what I know now!

  Chapter 4

  Suddenly everything had to move fast. Angela Torrance had insisted there wasn’t a moment to lose, as her daughter was apparently in grave danger, and she needed Odelia and her sleuthing skills in England now, right speedily!

  Odelia had already packed her bag, and so had Chase, and she was now thinking about what to bring along for her cats.

  “No worries,” said Gran, waving an impatient hand. “Angela said she’d take care of everything.”

  “That’s very generous of her,” said Odelia’s mother Marge, who was overseeing proceedings.

  “But they need their litter boxes and their favorite food and—”

  “What they need is their humans,” said Gran. “The rest will be provided by Tessa. The best of the best of the best. Angela’s words, not mine.”

  Chase, who sat following the back-and-forth with an indulgent smile, said, “I like the best of the best of the best.”

  “Yeah, the best of the best of the best is good enough for me,” Max agreed.

  The doorbell sang out a cheerful tune and Gran got up from the bed on which she’d been lounging. Odelia’s bags were on the floor near the door, and as Gran stomped down the stairs, she announced loudly, “That’ll be Angela!”

  “Oh, dear,” said Marge, bringing a worried hand to her face. “Are you sure you want to go through with this, honey?”

  “I guess so,” said Odelia, though she had her reservations. Especially about the fact that her grandmother was in charge, which usually spelled disaster.

  “This Angela seems like a reasonable enough person,” said Max as he placed his head on his paws.

  “She does,” said Odelia. “But we have no idea where we’re going to end up over there.”

  “I don’t like the fact that this is all so very secretive,” said Marge.

  “Me neither. But Angela says it’s the only way to proceed. She says we can’t trust anyone over there.”

  “Not even Prince Dante?” asked Marge.

  “Not even Prince Dante.”

  “Poor Tessa. I can’t imagine how she must be feeling. You remember Tessa, don’t you, honey? You two used to play so well together.”

  “Mom. I was two.”

  “Of course you were,” said Marge distractedly. “Everything was different back then, of course. Angela and Jack were still very much in love. This was before he ran off with that waitress. I remember Angela being very upset about the whole thing. And then she found this great job in Vegas and that’s the last I ever heard of her. Well, until the engagement, of course.”

  They’d all followed the story of Tessa’s engagement to Prince Dante with interest. An American girl falling in love with an English prince was a story that sparked the imagination of the nation, and the fact that Tessa and her mom had once been neighbors added to the excitement. So Odelia, Marge and Gran had watched the royal wedding live, fighting sleep not to miss a thing.

  There was movement on the stairs, and moments later Gran reappeared, followed by Angela Torrance. She was a dark-haired, petite woman with a kind face. She smiled when she saw Marge, opening her arms in greeting.

  “Angela!” said Marge warmly. “I’m so glad to see you! How have you been?”

  “Well, other than the fact that my daughter is being targeted by some crazy killer I can’t complain,” said Angela with a wry little chuckle.

  “I’m so sorry,” said Marge as the two women hugged.

  “So how come the story hasn’t been in all the papers?” asked Odelia.

  “Tessa deliberately kept it out,” said Angela. “She was fortunate none of the tabloids picked it up. Otherwise it would be all over the news by now.”

  “But wouldn’t that be a good thing?” asked Marge. “That way the killer will think twice before he tries again.”

  “I’m not so sure about that,” said Angela. “The English tabloids have all turned on her, the poor girl, and they’d probably applaud the killer. In fact they just might offer a reward for him to try again and this time do it right.”

  “Oh, my God,” said Marge, shocked by these words.

  “Lucky for Tessa she and Dante were the only ones who saw what happened. And one little girl, but she won’t talk. Dante went up the roof to check, and he thinks it was an accident: a stone that must have come loose.”

  “But Tessa doesn’t believe that.”

  “No, she doesn’t. And neither do I. Stones don’t just drop from the sky. Someone must have used a crowbar to pry it loose and then waite
d for the right moment to drop it.”

  Odelia frowned. “But if Dante says—”

  “I don’t believe him, okay? In fact at this point I don’t trust anyone. Not my daughter’s husband, not a single person in his family or his entourage. As far as I’m concerned they’re all out to get her until proven otherwise.”

  Odelia was starting to have a bad feeling about this. Angela was more and more coming across as a loose cannon. Surely if Dante said the stone falling was an accident, he was right. Why would he lie about a thing like that?

  “Look, the tabloids have created such a frenzied atmosphere…” Angela shook her head. “They’ve turned Tess’s life into a living hell. Everything she does, or says, or even wears—they’re ready to crucify her. It’s a nightmare.”

  “But surely Tessa can trust her husband to…” Odelia tried again.

  “Don’t get me wrong. I like Prince Dante. He’s a great guy, and theirs is obviously a match made in heaven. But they’ve been fighting. Big rows.”

  “Oh, no,” said Marge, who was a romantic soul at heart.

  “That doesn’t mean he would try to kill her, though,” said Odelia.

  “I don’t know. And that’s where you come in. At this point you’re the only one I can trust. Vesta told me you have experience solving crime, so…”

  “I have experience solving crime in Hampton Cove. I’ve never even been to England, so I’m not sure what I’ll be able to accomplish over there.”

  “I’m sure you’ll handle yourself magnificently,” said Angela, and rubbed Odelia’s arm encouragingly. She paused. “Look, I can see that you’re skeptical about this. So let me show you something.” She took out her phone. “I told you the only witnesses were Dante and a little girl, right?”

  “Uh-huh.”

  “The girl just happened to be filming when that stone ball dropped down.” She held up the phone and everyone gathered around to watch. “Look closely.”

  Odelia looked closely. The shaky footage showed Tessa, standing in front of a gray stone wall. Suddenly, she looked up, then immediately jumped to the left. Moments later, a large solid object dropped down and the camera panned up. On the wall right over Tessa’s head, a dark figure could fleetingly be seen. One second he was there, the next he was gone.