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  I slumped against the doorjamb. “Remington had to fly to Europe again. He’ll probably be gone for weeks this time.”

  “I’m sorry, honey,” she said, clucking her tongue.

  “And what’s more, when I told him I loved him…” I faltered, then trudged ahead. “When I told him I loved him, he didn’t reciprocate.”

  She made a throwaway gesture and rolled her eyes. “Don’t worry about that. He’s a guy, isn’t he? Before they manage to disgorge the L-word, you practically need forceps.”

  More mumbling sounds were coming from between her legs, this time accompanied by feverish wriggling. Tamara closed her eyes and moaned. “Oh, that’s good.”

  “Tamara? I think you’re choking him.”

  “Nonsense,” she said. “I can still feel his tongue working my clit, so he’s definitely still alive.”

  “Not for long,” I murmured, thinking back to that first time Remington had told me he loved me. Had it been a mere accident? Had he just said it because he’d just had a massive orgasm? He would probably have said anything in that moment. If I had asked him if he wanted to marry me and father a brace of babies, he would probably have said yes.

  “Since Remington is unavoidably detained most of the time, the boyfriend and I just looked some stuff up on the Internet,” said Tamara, gesturing at the ropes with which she was still tied to the chair.

  “Neat,” I said, throwing a cursory glance at her body. Unlike me, Tamara has the boobs of a fertility statue: large and round like melons, with big, soft nipples. Mine are more the size of apples, if we’re going to stay within the realm of food similes.

  She frowned and looked down at the computer engineer wedged between her thighs. “He stopped licking my pussy,” she said, as if blaming him for gross negligence.

  “I think he’s dead,” I said. “Dead people can’t lick pussy.”

  She opened her legs and Alan dropped to the floor. I sped over to check on him. He was lying on his back, gasping for breath, like a fish thrown to the shore by a bear. What added to that impression was the fact that his face was all wet, and I was pretty sure it wasn’t from sweating.

  As both Tamara and I hovered over the computer specialist, patting his cheeks, he finally managed to utter a few words, indicative of his state of mind.

  “That. Was. Awesome!”

  Tamara raised an eyebrow at me, as if to say, “See? What did I tell you?”

  I had to hand it to her, she had finally managed to get Alan from behind his computer screen, which was quite an achievement, in and of itself.

  3

  Next morning saw me arrive for work bright and early. I hadn’t slept all that well, but somewhere around four o’clock at night, I’d finally made peace with myself and my situation. After all, looking at things objectively, I had it made: I was running a killer company, had a fantastic boyfriend, and I had my health, which, my grandmother never fails to inform me, is the most important thing in the world. So what did I have to complain about? Nothing at all!

  With a spring in my step, I entered my office, only to be confronted with two very unbidden and very unexpected guests: reading from left to right: Celeste Parker and some bimbo I recognized as having at some point in time decorated Remington’s arm—yes, I had extensively googled my boyfriend and his cadre of exes.

  “Celeste?” I said, the spring in my step now replaced by a stagger. “What are you doing here?”

  “Hi, Erin,” said Celeste in her customary clipped tone. She was actually sitting behind my desk!

  “Um, that’s my desk,” I said, frowning.

  “Are you sure?” she said.

  “Um, what?” I said, not really my eloquent self. Celeste still had the same spine-liquefying effect on me.

  “Can I introduce you to Avery Charmer?” she said, indicating the bimbo.

  “Hi,” I said, curious to know if that was her real name. She was the most recent in Remington’s list of conquests, just before he’d stumbled onto me.

  “Hi,” said Avery, not even bothering to shake my hand. From head to toe, she looked fake: fake hair, fake lips, fake boobs… The woman must have had so much work done to her body, she could easily keep an entire plastic surgery practice in business all year round. I wondered, not for the first time, what Remington had ever seen in her. She looked at me from underneath fake eyelashes, and smirked. “So you’re Remington’s little secretary, mh?”

  “I’m Remington’s little girlfriend,” I corrected her, “and CEO of Hearts & Flowers.”

  “I beg to differ,” spoke Celeste, and the smile lighting up her features was unmistakably one of the Cheshire variety.

  “Yes, I beg to differ too,” said Avery. “Where is Remington, by the way? We were actually hoping to speak to him, not his little helper.”

  “Remington’s in Europe,” I said. “What’s this all about, Celeste?” I was quickly losing my patience, and my annoyance was now so great, it even managed to subdue my natural tendency to grovel at this woman’s feet.

  “Not so fast,” said Celeste, swiveling in my chair. “First things first. What was that you said about you being Remington’s girlfriend?”

  I held my head a little higher, though I couldn’t stop my cheeks from blushing. “That’s right. Remington and I are, um, that way about each other. What’s it to you?”

  Avery barked a little laugh. It reminded me of a Chihuahua with a head cold. “That’s odd,” she said.

  “What’s so odd about it?” I said, starting to feel more and more defiant. What were these two doing in my office, talking crap about my boyfriend?

  Then Avery thrust out her perfectly manicured hand, flashing a ring so sparkly and large, that it took my breath away. “Recognize this?” she said sweetly.

  “That looks like an engagement ring,” I said, my heart going ba-boomp in my chest.

  “She’s very observant, for a secretary,” said Avery to Celeste. “Yes, that is an engagement ring, honey, you’re quite right. In fact, it’s the engagement ring Remington gave me on the occasion of our engagement, six months ago.”

  She let that hang between us for a moment, before delivering the coup de grace. “I’m Remington’s fiancée.”

  My blood turned to ice at the sweet smile she offered me to accompany that statement. “What? But that’s impossible,” I muttered.

  “Oh, he didn’t tell you, did he?” She clucked her tongue. “Such a bad boy, my Rem. Keeps making promises to silly young girls and breaking their silly little hearts in the process.” She waved the rock under my nose for good measure. “Well, this is a promise he’s not likely to forget, is it, silly little secretary?”

  “And what he’s also not likely to forget, is the fact that Hearts & Flowers is in fact Avery’s company,” added Celeste, looking at me like a fox checking out a plump chicken. Or rather, in my case, a scrawny chicken.

  “What?” I said, cursing myself for my lack of vocabulary. I kept repeating myself this not so fine morning, it seemed.

  “Yep, I’ve always wanted to run a company of my own,” said Avery. “So when Remington set up Hearts & Flowers for me, you can imagine I was over the moon.”

  “You can’t be the owner,” I said, my face now on fire, in spite of the chill in my heart. “He would have told me.”

  “Avery stepped away for a little while,” explained Celeste. “Dealing with some medical issues, isn’t that right, Avery, honey?”

  “Quite right,” said Avery, adjusting her boobs. “I had some urgent stuff to take care of before the wedding, so I was only too happy when Remington stepped in to run this flower thingy for me.” She grinned, which really didn’t become her. “But now I’m back.”

  “And so am I,” said Celeste triumphantly. “I’ve offered Avery my expertise and she has quite graciously accepted my offer. From now on, the two of us will run Hearts & Flowers together.”

  “But—but—but…” I sputtered, seeing my whole world collapse in a tornado of fire and flame. “You
can’t do that!”

  “Oh, yes I can,” said Avery, flashing her eyelashes at me. “It’s all quite legal and shit. Isn’t it, Celeste?”

  “Avery owns Hearts & Flowers outright,” said Celeste, sliding a piece of paper across my desk for me to read. I didn’t take it. Legalese has never been my strong suit, and I had a feeling this was all very legit. “Remington Carswell set up the company in her name. And she’s appointed me as the new CEO.”

  “But I’m the CEO,” I said feebly.

  Both women laughed. “Delusions of grandeur,” said Avery, and I was surprised she even knew the term. She stood in front of me, hand on her wasp waist and head cocked to take me in, a sly smile playing about her Botox enhanced lips. “You are the secretary,” she said. Then, clasping a hand to her mouth, she added, “Oops, correction! You were the secretary. And now you’re out of here.”

  She waved her hand like one flicking away a pesky fly. “Flee, little girl. Flee from here as fast as your skinny legs can carry you. We won’t be needing you anymore.”

  I crossed my arms in front of my modest chest and glared at her, even though she stood easily a full head taller than me. Had she had a leg extension on top of all the other work? “I’m not going anywhere until I get confirmation from Remington. I don’t work for you. I work for him.”

  She rolled her eyes. “Oh, the drama,” she said, crossing the room to the desk and taking a seat on top of it—the same desk Remington and I had made love on that first time. I briefly wondered if I should mention the fact.

  “Get him on the phone, will you?” she instructed Celeste. “Let’s get this sordid affair over with.”

  I really didn’t know what to think. About the CEO thing. But most of all, about the fact that this woman claimed to be Remington’s fiancée. Wouldn’t he have told me if she was? But what about the ring, then? As Celeste took out her cell, I stared at the gigantic rock on Avery’s finger and swallowed with some difficulty.

  She saw me eye that prized possession of hers and smirked, giving it a playful twirl it with her thumb. “The wedding is set for October,” she whispered. “A grand affair, I can assure you.”

  “He would have told me,” I muttered.

  She slung her head back and laughed. “Oh, you silly girl. You had one fling with the man and now you think you own him? You think he needs to justify his every decision? Our engagement was arranged years ago, and no amount of butterflies will ever stand in the way of our match. Understand?”

  There was the hint of a threat in this last statement, and I shook my head, still not comprehending. Remington would never do this to me. Never in the world. Not my Remington. Not the man I loved.

  Then Celeste had him on speaker phone and his voice echoed through the room.

  “Celeste? Is that you? I really don’t have time for this bull—”

  “I think you better make time,” cut in Celeste. “I have Avery Charmer here in the room with me. Your fiancée?”

  Suddenly Remington was silent, and I felt a stab through the heart.

  “Avery?” he said. “What’s this all about?”

  “I’ll pass her to you. Avery? You want to have a word with your fiancé?”

  “Oh, hi, Rem,” said Avery happily. “So glad to catch you. We were just talking to Erin Gould. Your secretary?”

  “Erin?” Remington said, surprised.

  “Yes, we’ve been trying to explain to her the state of affairs. For instance, the fact that I’m the rightful owner of Hearts & Flowers? She didn’t seem to believe me, can you imagine?”

  There was a heavy silence on the other end of the line, and then I couldn’t hold myself anymore. I wrenched the phone from Avery’s hand, and tooted, “Tell me it’s not true, Remington. Just tell me…”

  After a long pause, Remington said, “It’s… complicated, Erin.”

  I dropped my arm, and hardly even noticed the triumphant expression on Celeste’s face at these words. Avery fished the phone from my grasp, and said, “You really should level with your secretaries, Rem, honey. The poor girl is all shook up. Now, I’ve decided that it’s better for all concerned to let Celeste run my business from now on. You’ll agree with me that she has all the right credentials. And I’ll be far too busy planning the wedding to concern myself with running a flower business.”

  “I don’t think we should discuss this matter over the phone, Avery,” said Remington, an edge to his voice. “Don’t do anything until I’m back.”

  “I wouldn’t dream of it, darling. You have so much on your plate already these days, I wouldn’t want to trouble you with my little affairs. Now, about the wedding. I’ve hired Louise Calson for the catering. Is that all right with you?”

  I didn’t stay for the rest of the sordid tale. Tears flooding my face, I ran out of that hellhole as fast as my legs could carry me.

  4

  I’d only stepped out of the elevator and had started crossing the small square outside Hearts & Flowers, when my phone beeped. It was Remington.

  “Erin, so glad I caught you.”

  “I don’t know if I’m so glad,” I said, taking a seat by the fountain in the center of the square and snuffling into a paper tissue.

  “Did Avery give you a hard time?”

  “I can’t believe you didn’t tell me you were engaged!” I burst out.

  “I didn’t think I was,” he said. “Engaged I mean. Avery broke off the engagement right before I met you.”

  “She did? Then why didn’t you tell her just now?”

  He sighed. “Like I said, it’s complicated.”

  “Tell me,” I said softly, not feeling in the mood for big arguments and drama.

  “Avery Charmer and I have been engaged since before we were born. Not through any fault of our own, mind you. It’s just a sort of arrangement our fathers arrived at, based on a strategic alliance between the Carswells and the Charmers.

  “Old man Charmer owns a controlling share in one of the largest cobalt mines in the world, which is of particular importance to us since base metal is still the cornerstone of the Carswell family fortune. Pop Charmer and my pop finally worked out a deal where Charmer promised to get into bed with us, if our families would also be tied by marriage. As I said, this all happened long before I was born.”

  “But that’s… slavery.”

  “Something like that. The thing is, we have an understanding, Avery and I. We promised our families we’d get married one day, but in the meantime we go our own way. She’s actually been seeing some old guy for some time now, Chalk Whithers. And I’ve been seeing the most wonderful girl in the world.”

  I wasn’t mollified. “And once you’re married, what about me? I’ll be your mistress, or what?”

  “Not exactly. We’re never going to get married. Pop Charmers is pushing 80, and his health is not good. We just figured…”

  “You’d wait until he was dead, and then break off the engagement.”

  “Something like that,” he said.

  “That’s nuts! What if he lives to be a hundred? You’re going to be engaged to Avery Charmers for another 20 years?”

  “It’s only on paper,” he said. “We’ve never even kissed or anything.”

  “Then what was all that talk about a caterer? She told me she’s planning an October wedding.”

  “Yeah, well, I think she broke up with old man Whithers. Each time she’s between lovers, she gets a little needy.”

  “Remington,” I said, my head spinning. “This is crazy. I really don’t think—”

  “Wait for me,” he suddenly said.

  “You’re nuts.”

  “Nuts about you.”

  “Do you really want to keep seeing me while you’re officially engaged to Avery?”

  “I do.”

  I shook my head resolutely. “It’s impossible, Remington. I’m not some little tramp you can keep on the side. If we’re going to be together, I want you all the way.” I bit my lip. I couldn’t believe I’d just said tha
t, but it was the way I felt.

  “I understand,” he said. “You’re right, of course. This situation isn’t fair to you.”

  “No, it isn’t. And what’s more, she just took over Hearts & Flowers and put Celeste in charge. Remington? She said she owns the business. Celeste even showed me the paperwork. Everything is in her name. Tell me it’s not true.”

  He heaved a deep sigh and I knew I was out of a job. The best position I’d ever had, and Celeste had taken it away from me.

  “She wasn’t really interested,” he explained. “She kept nagging me about giving her something to do, so I set up Hearts & Flowers, but by then she’d lost interest so I decided to run it myself, just to see if I could make something work that wasn’t part of the Carswell portfolio. As a challenge to myself, you know?”

  “But why didn’t you put it in your name?”

  “I tried to, but Avery always found some excuse not to sign the papers. I don’t think she did it on purpose. That’s just the way she is. She’s a total scatterbrain. I bet this time tomorrow she’ll have forgotten all about Hearts & Flowers and the wedding.”

  “Somehow I doubt it.”

  “Celeste must have found out about the ownership structure, and talked Avery into letting her run with it. That woman…”

  For once, I didn’t agree. Celeste was a grade-A bitch, no doubt about it. But all this would never have happened if Remington hadn’t made himself—and me—vulnerable. He’d practically handed her the business on a silver platter.

  “Let’s talk about this when I get back,” he suggested.

  Even though I knew he couldn’t see me, I shook my head, tears welling up in my eyes. If Remington really cared about me, he would never have thrown me to the wolves like this. He would have made sure I was going to be all right.

  “No, Remington,” I said, my voice choking. “I don’t think we will.”

  “What are you saying?” he said in that soft voice of his.

  “I’m saying… Let’s just… forget about this…”

 
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