Purrfect Cruise (The Mysteries of Max Book 35)
Purrfect Cruise
The Mysteries of Max 35
Nic Saint
Puss in Books
Contents
Purrfect Cruise
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Chapter 17
Chapter 18
Chapter 19
Chapter 20
Chapter 21
Chapter 22
Chapter 23
Chapter 24
Chapter 25
Chapter 26
Chapter 27
Excerpt from Murder at the Art Class (Emily Stone)
About Nic
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Purrfect Cruise
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Murder Ahoy!
The last thing I would have expected when Odelia announced she was taking me and Dooley along on her honeymoon, was that I’d need to develop sea paws for the occasion. Yes, the honeymooners had decided to take a Caribbean cruise. Now if there’s one thing I dislike even more than being aboard a vessel floating in the middle of a large body of water, it is the presence of thousands of people having a good time and in doing so ignoring to watch their step. Lucky for us we had a nice cabin practically all to ourselves, since Odelia and Chase went island hopping.
But that was before our next-door-neighbor, rapper Lil Thug, famous for the diamond he’d had implanted in his forehead, was murdered, and someone absconded with the twenty-million-dollar pink gem. The ship’s security officer asked Odelia and Chase to assist him in his investigation, and so yours truly managed to make himself useful after all, by snooping around for clues, and collecting gossip all over the Queen of the Seas. And a good time would have been had by all if not two seagulls had developed a healthy interest in myself and Dooley—healthy for them, not for us!
1
The ship was huge. In fact it was huger than huge. It was ginormous. Of course I’d seen ships like this before… on TV, but never with my own eyes as I was doing now.
“This ship is really big, Max,” said Dooley, indicating we were on the same page as far as the ship’s size was concerned.
“I know,” I said, still gaping up at the monstrosity.
“Are you sure it’s not going to sink? It looks very heavy to me.”
“I’m… pretty sure,” I said, though now that my friend mentioned it, I had to confess I couldn’t for the life of me imagine how a monstrosity like this could possibly stay afloat. Or stay upright, for that matter. There were so many floors to the thing I couldn’t count them all, and the Queen of the Seas looked more like some gigantic hotel than a boat.
“I don’t know if this is such a good idea, Max,” said Dooley, shaking his head as we took stock of our home for the next ten days. “Maybe Harriet and Brutus were right when they decided not to come on this trip.”
“Harriet and Brutus didn’t decide not to come, Dooley,” I reminded him. “They weren’t invited.”
“Oh. But why?”
“Because dragging two cats around on a cruise ship is more than plenty, thank you very much,” Odelia said as she crouched down next to us. “Why? Are you missing your friends already?”
“No,” I said quickly. “No, it’s not that. It’s just that…”
“Are you sure this boat won’t sink, Odelia?” asked Dooley. “Boats do sink, you know.”
Odelia smiled and patted my friend on the head. “Pretty sure, Dooley. It’s been traveling along the same route for the past fifteen years, and hasn’t sunk yet.”
“Okay,” said my friend, but looked nor sounded convinced. “So how does it stay afloat? A boat this big should be at the bottom of the ocean, not floating on top of it.”
“It’s been built by some of the brightest engineers and shipbuilders on the planet,” said our human. “So rest assured, it won’t sink. Now are you ready to go aboard?”
We both gulped profusely, then nodded reluctantly.
“Great. Then let’s go.”
And she picked up Dooley and carried him off.
“Hey!” I said. “What about me?!”
But the moment I’d spoken these words, two strong arms picked me up and soon I was being carried aboard, too. The strong arms belonged to Odelia’s husband Chase Kingsley, and since the man is basically built like a tank, I soon relaxed in his arms and allowed him to carry me aboard the vessel.
We were in Bridgeport, Barbados, where the Queen of the Seas was about to set sail on a ten-day cruise that would take us along all the hotspots of the Caribbean. Odelia and Chase, having been married a couple of weeks before, still hadn’t been able to enjoy their honeymoon, and so their families had decided to do something to rectify this gross oversight, and had arranged for this cruise. Some insurance money had come in after the accidental demolition of Odelia’s parents’ house, and Odelia’s boss had also chipped in, as had her uncle Alec Lip, and even Alec’s girlfriend, Mayor Charlene Butterwick. All in all they’d done a wonderful thing for the newlyweds, and Odelia and Chase were still blown away by this singular kindness.
We’d flown from New York to Barbados, and now here we were, boarding one of the most luxurious cruise ships in the world, to spend the next ten days on the water.
The trip would take us from Bridgeport, Barbados to Kingstown, St. Vincent, then on to St. George’s, Grenada and Willemstad, Curacao, into Kralendijk, Bonaire, and Colombia, Panama, Costa Rica, Aruba, Trinidad and back to Bridgeport for our flight home.
The ship itself was even more impressive than I’d imagined standing ashore: once we got past the ticket person, and had entered the ship proper, we were hit by a tornado of sights and sounds: people were everywhere, and so was the music blasting from hidden speakers. A shopping mall had been set up in the belly of the beast, with plenty of boutiques, and as I glanced up I saw floor after floor of ship rising up around us—as if we were at the bottom of a canyon. For a moment I felt seriously overwhelmed. So I held onto my human with all my might, which may or may not have involved the use of my claws, for suddenly Chase uttered a soft strangled cry and muttered, “Claws, Max.”
“Oh, I’m sorry,” I said, and retracted my claws and tried to relax.
“Let’s find our cabin first,” Odelia suggested.
“Good idea,” Chase grunted as he carefully set me down on the ship’s metal floor. Odelia offered Dooley the same courtesy, and we both vowed to stay close to our humans. If we ever got lost I wasn’t sure what we’d do. Look for the Lost and Found department, presumably?
“This looks just like one big giant hotel,” Odelia said, marveling at our surroundings.
“A hotel and a shopping mall,” Chase said as we looked in on some of the shops.
“I can’t wait to see the pool,” said Odelia happily as she checked out a bathing suit and Chase eyed a cowboy hat with some interest.
The honeymooners shared a sweet kiss. I looked away, of course, as I always do out of respect for their privacy. But Dooley, who didn’t have the same qualms, eyed the kissing couple with breathless anticipation. “They’re making babies, Max,” he said in hushed tones.
“Shh—they can hear you,” I said.
Our humans had finally been able to resist the allure of the colorful shops, and we
arrived at the bank of elevators destined to whisk us away to the upper floors. Soon we arrived at our designated level and the doors zoomed open, spilling us and several other giddy tourists into the section of the ship that would be our new home for the next ten days.
“I hope they have plenty of kibble,” said Dooley.
“And I hope they have a soft couch to sleep on,” I added.
“I wonder if they have a gym,” Chase grunted.
“And I hope they have that bathing suit in my size,” Odelia said.
We found our cabin without fail, and after Chase had let us in with the key card he’d received, it proved as spacious and nice as the pictures on the cruise line website had promised, and much to my relief it contained a very nice couch, which immediately I took possession of, as did Dooley. It was soft yet firm and deep enough so I could fit whichever way I chose to stretch out on it. I’m a large cat, you see, and I need my space.
After the ordeal of traveling to Barbados by plane, then taxi, and after having gone through the experience of our arrival and undergoing the noise of the crowd, the peace and quiet of the cabin was like a balm to my harried soul, and I expelled a sigh of relief.
Odelia and Chase were too busy checking out the cabin and uttering cries of delight to take much notice of us, and after they’d inspected the bedroom, the bathroom and the balcony they both collapsed on the bed in a flutter of giggles and for the next five minutes spent more time kissing and hugging and generally doing what newlyweds do.
“They’re making babies, Max!” Dooley repeated his earlier statement. “It’s happening!”
“I doubt that very much, Dooley,” I said, having closed my eyes and assuming my favorite sphinx position.
“No, but it’s true. People on honeymoon always make babies. It’s what they do!”
I hated to contradict him, for this time he just might be right. People on honeymoon do frequently engage in baby-making activities, and even though Odelia and Chase were fully dressed, and all they were doing was sharing a couple of loving kisses, who was to say they wouldn’t progress into some more heavy petting or necking later on?
I just hoped they’d be discreet about it and not wake me up.
“Let’s go on deck,” suddenly Chase suggested.
“Yeah, we can’t miss the boat taking off,” Odelia said.
They both hopped off the bed with the kind of alacrity I was only able to muster up when fresh kibble was being poured into my bowl.
“Are you guys coming?” asked our human. “The ship is sailing, which is a big deal.”
“Party time,” Chase said, rubbing his hands with glee.
“No, I think I’ll stay here,” I said.
“Me, too,” said Dooley.
Odelia frowned. “You’re not going to stay in this cabin the whole trip, are you?”
“Maybe not the whole trip,” I said. Only about ninety-nine percent of the trip.
“Suit yourself,” she said with a shrug. “Let’s go, Chase. We don’t want to miss this.”
And then they were finally off, carefully closing the door behind them. For a moment, I was too stunned for speech, then I bellowed, “Hey! You forgot about our kibble!”
2
The door flew open again, and Odelia reappeared. Which just goes to show: we have the best human on the planet. A human who never forgets about those all-important things in life, such as there are: kibble, kibble and of course… kibble!
“You’re coming to see off the ship, whether you like it or not,” said Odelia as she took three big steps in our direction, and gave me and Dooley twin prods in the rear.
“Hey!” I said, as I hadn’t expected this.
“You can’t miss this, you guys!” she added. “This is a once-in-a-lifetime experience and you’re going to spend it lying around on the couch? No way!”
“But—”
“No buts. You’re both coming with us and that’s final.”
And to show us she meant what she said, she even proceeded to place a well-shod foot against my rear and gently nudged me in the direction of the door!
“All right, all right!” I said finally. “I get your point.”
“Good,” she said. “You can lie around and be lazy at home. We’re here to have a great time, and I’ll be damned if I’m going to—”
She quickly shut up when the door to the next cabin opened and a man walked out. He looked a little weird, I must say: he was dressed like a teenager, only he wasn’t a teenager but a grown man. He wore jeans with holes in them, a flashy T-shirt, several big rings on his fingers, colorful wristbands, a bandana, a goatee and sunglasses with little wings on the side shields. He also had a very large pink stone embedded in his forehead for some reason.
“Lil Thug!” Odelia cried out. “I’m a big fan, sir.”
Our neighbor smiled and took off his sunglasses. “Thanks. Always happy to meet a fan.”
“Love the diamond, Mr. Thug,” said Chase, who seemed to be a big fan, too, judging from the silly grin on his face.
“Oh, this little thing?” said the man as he casually touched the stone on his forehead. “I picked it up at Tiffany’s, as you probably know.”
“Oh, I do,” said Odelia. “I’m a reporter,” she explained, but when the man’s face morphed into a frown, she quickly added, “But I’m not working right now. We’re actually on our honeymoon. This is my husband Chase.”
“Pleased to meet you, Odelia, Chase,” said the guy smoothly, and they extended handshakes. And I think this might have been the beginning of a wonderful friendship if the other doors across from the corridor hadn’t opened just then, and a small gathering of people poured out and joined us: a woman in a wheelchair being pushed by a younger woman who looked very much like her. A young man was also present, and a woman with a wizened face and suspiciously dark hair. The foursome stared at Mr. Thug.
The woman in the wheelchair produced a sort of loud squeal, while the young woman produced a startled little whimper, then exclaimed, “Omigod omigod omigod—Lil Thug!”
“That’s me,” said the guy who I now assumed was probably a rapper of some kind.
“I love your stuff!” said the girl, as she immediately left the wheelchair where it was and tripped up to the rapper. “Your album Stinky Fingers is my absolute favorite!”
“Thanks,” said the rapper with the kind of vague indulgent smile that indicated he’d been in this type of situation many times before.
“Are you all right, darling?” asked the young man solicitously.
“I’m fine,” said the woman in the wheelchair, who was holding a small white ball in her lap. Possibly a keychain. “Muscle spasm,” she said with a grimace. “It’ll pass.” She stuck out a hand in the direction of Odelia and Chase, who stood closest to her. “Bertha Biles. And this is my husband David, my daughter Laura and my caregiver Adele.”
“Odelia Poole,” said Odelia. “And this is my husband Chase.”
“They’re honeymooners,” said Lil Thug with a waggle of expressive eyebrows.
“Honeymooners!” said Laura, who now turned her attention from the rapper to Odelia. “That’s so romantic! When I get married I want to go on a honeymoon cruise, too.”
“We need to get going,” the wizened-faced lady now growled. Judging from her smoky voice she probably couldn’t wait to dig into her second pack of cigarettes of the day. “The boat will take off any minute now.”
“Oh, you’ll love the embarkation ceremony they like to put on,” said Mrs. Biles. “It’s just the best thing. There’s music and everybody cheers. It’s a lot of fun.”
“You’ve taken this cruise before?” asked Odelia as the company moved off in the direction of the elevators.
“Oh, sure. We take this cruise every year. We’re big cruise fans. You?”
“This is our first time, actually.”
“And you, Mr. Thug?” asked Laura, her eyes glittering, knowing she was in the presence of fame.
“First t
ime for me, too,” said the singer. “Though I’m here for business, not pleasure.”
“You’re doing a show?!” asked the girl, practically screaming now.
“Yeah, I am,” he said with a deferential smile. “Not tonight but tomorrow night, and then every night after that. I hope that’s all right with you?”
“All right? It’s the best news I’ve heard so far!”
A door opened and a couple walked out. They were a blond woman who looked like a model, and her equally handsome male companion. Both of them were holding selfie sticks and were preening as they talked into their phones, filming themselves. When they caught sight of Lil Thug, their perfectly-shaped jaws dropped, and in a coordinated movement they swung their selfie sticks to include the famous rapper in their efforts.
“No selfies, please,” Lil Thug said immediately.
“Of course,” said the woman, who lowered her selfie stick with visible reluctance.
“Oren,” said her companion, “and this is my partner Chiquita. We’re influencers.”
“What’s an influencer, Max?” asked Dooley.
“People who film themselves and then post the videos online,” I explained. “And then people pay them.”
He frowned, his lack of comprehension clear. “I don’t understand.”
“Well, they post stuff online, and get people to watch it, and the more followers they have, the more they can charge when they plug some handbag or a pair of shoes.”
“Okay,” he said, but it was obvious he still didn’t fully comprehend the strange and wonderful world of influencers.